Thursday, June 18, 2009

Top 10 Ways You Know Your Novel is Finished

Hello, from sunny Revision Pergutory!

It's Thursday here, and it's been Thursday for what seems like eons, because time has no meaning in Revision Purgatory.

I'm sure a lot of you are with me right now, poised on the edge of "done," and ready to dive into the Query Pool.

This... is for you guys.

Top 10 Ways You Know Your Novel's Done!

10) Your own mother is tired of reading your drafts.

9) Your spouse flees the room if he/she sees you with your laptop.

8) You've changed "Steve said" to "said Steve" and back again. Thirty. Separate. Times.

7) You've memorized your opening and closing scenes.

6) Your main characters names are now gibberish to your ears. Steve? Steee-V. Stah--eev?

5) Your keyboard tray has chocolate stains.

4) You are Drunk Revising (much like drunk dialing, but worse.)

3) You've whined to all of your writer pals about how tough all the revising is, but haven't done a single thing all week.

2) Have already started revising your next book just to get away from the current one.

1) You're revising every book you read in your mind, and thinking if only Faulkner had consulted you first.

Happy Friday-Eve, everybody!


Abby said...

I love this list! Glad I'm not the only one with my opening and closing scenes memorized.

And my husband cringes and does that laughing sigh thing every time I tell him I changed something. He swears he won't read anything else until I'm sure it's all done. That day may never come, so we'll see. :)

Jody Hedlund said...

I'm hopping over from Rachelle's blog party! Your list is hilarious! Since I just finished revising two books, I can totally relate!

Kate Karyus Quinn said...

OMG this post is soooo timely because I have been in revision purgatory for months now and I am sooo ready to just be done with it already. Thanks for the laugh!

Rebecca Knight said...

Haha, at least we have friends in Purgatory ;).

Welcome, Jody! Rachelle's blog party is too much fun. For those who want to join in, please head over to Rachelle's blog at

Danyelle said...

Revision Purgatory! This is a beautiful, beautiful post!

I just got done with the second draft. It was fairly painless. It's the third draft where the sulfur starts permeating the air, for me. :D