Thursday, December 3, 2009

Blog Chain: Oh, the Humanity

Or "In-Jokes with Myself: Crappy Writing from the Yesteryear!"

Shaun picked the topic for this round of the Blog Chain, and yes, decided it would be fun to torture us (as well as our blog readers) with this question:

What is the silliest thing from a book or short story you've written, and why? It can be a line or a paragraph or a whole page. Anything that you look back at and go, "Say what?"

Really, Shaun? Are you sure you want to know?

Some things YOU CAN'T UNSEE, if you know what I mean. You go there at your own peril!

Don't say you weren't warned!!!!!

As soon as I discovered the topic, I went digging around in my old "writing" folders and dug out this steaming... uh... gem to share with you guys ;).

I wrote this poem when my husband was playing video games one Saturday, sheerly to amuse myself because I was crazy bored. I was an only child, so I'm really good at entertaining myself when the need arises. I was thinking about that video on http://www.homestarrunner.com/ where Strongbad is trying to teach everyone how to draw a dragon, and his brother Strongmad (who is not the sharpest tool in the shed) is just carving DAGRON into a table instead of drawing :D. If you don't know about Trogdor, Strongbad, or Homestar Runner, you should totally go procrastinate and head over to that website :D. It's hours of fun!

Okay, enough backstory! Enjoy:

POEM TO A DAGRON:

Oh, Dagron Great, what shall thy namesake be?
A crusty serpent that caused the Welsh to flee
their homes and burnt them to the ground?
Or hydra fierce with heads horn-crowned?

Oh, Dagron, should I name thee after great angelic hosts?
Name thee cherubim, give thee wings to fly among the ghosts?
Dagron Great, none do your countenance match:
Your noble reek, your scales' sheen, your claws that snatch.

What shall I name thee, then, Dagron Great--
Oh, wise creature, christened late?
If I cannot do this task, I will take my leave.
So to save disgrace, I shall call you "Steve."


Yeah.

I can't say I didn't warn you!

Any gems from the past you'd like to share? :D

Don't forget to check out the hilarious Cole who posted ahead of me, and the fabulous Amanda, posting tomorrow!

14 comments:

christine said...

Love it!!! this is a great topic...and trust me - you are all going to hate me when it is my turn. Hate.Me.............

Cole Gibsen said...

Ha ha! That's too great!

Badass Geek said...

Awe. Some.

Sandra said...

Fear the fearsome Dargon named Steve!

I'm still not sure if we're supposed to be funny or just really, really bad.

Michelle McLean said...

LOL holy crap, that is awesome :D

I'm with you Sandra. Most of my bad stuff isn't funny...it's just really really bad. Like the four pages I cut from my first book that described every inch of the MC's house - yep, FOUR PAGES of minute description. I could post that....mwahahahaha

Eric said...

Okay, call me whatever but I think this is hilarious. And no, I don't think it's particularly bad either. Nice post, Rebecca.

Bethany Wiggins said...

Writers are the best people ever. They aren't afraid to be themselves. Thanks!

nomadshan said...

I don't know what you're talking about, because that was FULL of win!

Abby Annis said...

Too funny! You're awesome, Becca!

Mandy said...

I LOVE this! The last line is awesome Kat, seriously. Steve... hehe!

Sarah Bromley said...

Steve! I'm dying here. That was fab.

Shaun Hutchinson said...

A Dargon named Steve! I love it. Awesome, awesome, awesome!

B.J. Anderson said...

Lol! I think I quite like this poem about the dragon named Steve. Great stuff. :D

Kat Harris said...

Steve? Steve?

I love it.

This is my favorite blog chain topic EVER.