Blog Chain: Oh, the Humanity

Or "In-Jokes with Myself: Crappy Writing from the Yesteryear!"

Shaun picked the topic for this round of the Blog Chain, and yes, decided it would be fun to torture us (as well as our blog readers) with this question:

What is the silliest thing from a book or short story you've written, and why? It can be a line or a paragraph or a whole page. Anything that you look back at and go, "Say what?"

Really, Shaun? Are you sure you want to know?

Some things YOU CAN'T UNSEE, if you know what I mean. You go there at your own peril!

Don't say you weren't warned!!!!!

As soon as I discovered the topic, I went digging around in my old "writing" folders and dug out this steaming... uh... gem to share with you guys ;).

I wrote this poem when my husband was playing video games one Saturday, sheerly to amuse myself because I was crazy bored. I was an only child, so I'm really good at entertaining myself when the need arises. I was thinking about that video on http://www.homestarrunner.com/ where Strongbad is trying to teach everyone how to draw a dragon, and his brother Strongmad (who is not the sharpest tool in the shed) is just carving DAGRON into a table instead of drawing :D. If you don't know about Trogdor, Strongbad, or Homestar Runner, you should totally go procrastinate and head over to that website :D. It's hours of fun!

Okay, enough backstory! Enjoy:

POEM TO A DAGRON:

Oh, Dagron Great, what shall thy namesake be?
A crusty serpent that caused the Welsh to flee
their homes and burnt them to the ground?
Or hydra fierce with heads horn-crowned?

Oh, Dagron, should I name thee after great angelic hosts?
Name thee cherubim, give thee wings to fly among the ghosts?
Dagron Great, none do your countenance match:
Your noble reek, your scales' sheen, your claws that snatch.

What shall I name thee, then, Dagron Great--
Oh, wise creature, christened late?
If I cannot do this task, I will take my leave.
So to save disgrace, I shall call you "Steve."


Yeah.

I can't say I didn't warn you!

Any gems from the past you'd like to share? :D

Don't forget to check out the hilarious Cole who posted ahead of me, and the fabulous Amanda, posting tomorrow!