Taking Care of Yourself

As writers, we are very driven people. Passionate. Some may say obsessive.

I've heard a lot of writers describe the writing process as "writing because I have to" or "the story idea has to come out or it drives me crazy."

We write for hours whenever we can, but most of us also have day jobs. And families. And chores.

How do we deal with all of the passion but at the same time balance it with the stresses of every day living?

I'm currently trying to figure that out.

I've been sick for the past few weeks, and it just got worse last week. I've been having stomach pains, nausea, fatigue, and finally dragged myself to the doctor. The diagnoses? I'm way too stressed out, and it's making me ill. The solution? A acid reducer the size of a hockey puck daily, and learning to relax.

Easier said than done, right? ;) I think every writer deals with the same difficulty in leading a balanced life.

However, an interesting thing happened to me at that appointment. When the doctor was frowning over her clipboard at me and telling me that I seriously need to take a chill pill, I felt a weird calm creeping over me. Okay, well, first I felt a wee bit embarrassed, because heh, I'm giving myself an ulcer (oops), but then I felt calm.

Before, every time I thought "I need to take a night off from writing to recover from my day" or "I should exercise/read for a while/sit quietly and drink tea" I immediately felt guilty. Guilty that I'm not as dedicated as other writers because I already write less often than they do. Guilty that I wasn't getting my novel done more quickly. Guilty that I was being "lazy" if I wanted to relax for a little while. Then, when I finally did crash, I'd just lie in front of the TV like I was in a coma. There was no balance. And I felt like crap.

The doctor telling me I needed to relax was as powerful as a prescription for anti-guilt pills. In that moment, I gave myself permission to relax.

Over the past few days, I've been trying to take a half hour to an hour each day to be quiet and spend some time for myself, drinking tea and reading, reading my Bible, or taking a hot bath. Afterwards, I can write or do chores or whatever, but I have the freedom to spend time taking care of myself.

I also try to look at one beautiful thing a day, eat slowly, and walk slowly. Did you guys know that the leaves are changing right now? :) Have you noticed how absolutely gorgeous that is? I have. I realize that I missed paying attention to these things.

I wanted to write about my experience today, because I'm sure I'm not alone. Do you guys give yourselves permission to relax? Do you balance your time by allowing yourself some room to be still and recharge?

Or do you need to take a look at your schedule today and carve out a half hour for a bubble bath or a walk outside?

Do you take care of yourselves?

How can we be the best artists we can be if we don't take the time to be still once in a while?

Happy Friday!

I hope everyone's had a good week!

Here are some things that bring me joy to send you off to your weekend in style:

All hail Brain Frog... All Hail Brain Frog...

These are not the hammer.

Integrity has no need of rules. Or baths. ~Albert Catmus

Do you think this is really happening in William Shatner's head all of the time? It would explain quite a bit.

This is what happens when your mustache is so large it begins to think for itself.

Happy Friday, Everyone! :)

Sick Day Unplugged

Hi, Blog Friends,

I'll be unplugging for the next couple of days to recover from some icky sickness.

In the meantime, if you're short on awesome blog reading material (ha!), please check out my list of helpful publishing blogs on the bottom right. There's great stuff in there!

I hope you're all having good weeks, and I'll see you soon :).

-Becca

How to Write a Synopsis: Helpful Tips!

Writers are crazy, but what makes us even *crazier* is the thought of writing a synopsis.

"It took me 95,000 words to tell my story, and now you want me to boil it down to 500??!"

Well, yeah. Basically.

No pressure, right? :P

Luckily for us, there are those wiser than we are to give us a helping hand!

Chuck over at the The Guide to Literary Agents blog posted some great tips on writing a good synopsis of your story.

Search wikipedia for movies and read what the wikinerds had to say! How did they sum up the movie? How did they describe the main character and conflict? It's one of the best ideas I've heard in a long time for finding examples of tight story outlines. Hats off to you, Chuck!

Author Anne Mini also had a very detailed post about questions you should ask yourself while writing your synopsis. Go check it out! It's extremely thorough and will whip your synopsis' butt into shape!

I also read a neat trick somewhere (I forget where, so please clue me in if you know, and I'll give credit) that if you're stuck on how to begin, follow these simple steps:

1) Sum your book up in one sentence. That's all you get! Think about what you'd tell someone if they asked you what your book is about, but you only had ten seconds to spit it out.

2) Now that you've sweated some blood and have your sentence synopsis nailed down, summarize your book in a single paragraph! This should feel much easier now that you've boiled it down to a sentence. Focus on the barest most essential pieces of the main conflict. What's at stake? Who is the MC? Why do we care?

3) Expand your paragraph into a one-page description! Some agents prefer a single page synopsis to the garden variety 2 page synopsis. This should feel like a walk in the park compared to what you've already accomplished. Stop and have a glass of wine. You're almost there!

4) Expand to 2 pages! Ahhhhhh. It's like unbuttoning your pants after a big meal. Finally, some room to breathe! The daunting task suddenly doesn't seem so daunting any more.

Hey, you've now got a 2 page synopsis :). Go send some queries, and good luck!

Does anyone else have any tips for writing a great synopsis? What works for you and what doesn't?

Your Questions Answered!

Last Friday I asked you guys what you want to know about me and to leave Fun Facts about yourselves, too :). If you missed it, please check it out!

So, now, without further ado, here are the answers to some of your burning questions ;)!

Tere Kirkland asked:

So... what's your all-time favorite fantasy novel? Is this a hard question,like making you choose between kids? Or do you know already?

Oh, man! That is a tough one right out of the gate. It IS like choosing between kids, or more like choosing between best friends. I'd have to say, because it is my oldest Fantasy Novel friend, The Lord of the Rings. I must have read the trilogy at least ten times, and it's what made me fall in love with the Fantasy genre. Before that, it was just me and Ray Bradbury over in Science Fiction land, kickin' it with our robot butlers.


The Badass Geek asked:


If you could have written any book that has already been written/published, what would it be?

Man, these are good questions! My first thoughts were "Ooh, Tolkien. No, Bradbury! Gah, George R. R. Martin!" but then it came to me. Hyperion by Dan Simmons. Without a doubt, Hyperion is the masterpiece I would have written if I had the chops. Sadly, the second book, Fall of Hyperion ended with a slight whimper, but my love for Hyperion is so strong that I don't even care. It's a science fiction/fantasy version of The Canterbury Tales (which I also love.) The characters and their stories are incredibly rich and moving, and the Shrike is one of the most terrifying creatures... well... ever. Read it :). It's amazing!

Susan Duvall asked about my unwashed hair:

You rinse the baking soda out and then just dry the hair and it turns out beautiful like your picture? Where did you find the idea to do this?

Ha ha! Potential converts ready to throw off the shakles of the shampoo bourgeoisie and use the cleanser of the proletariat! Uh.. you know... water! Annnyway, to answer your question, I don't blow dry my hair--I just let it air dry like a bum. It is naturally wavy so that usually turns out nice, and then the next day I curl it with the old curling iron and turn it loose on the world.

I got the idea from a forum I'm on, and then read about it all over the internet before trying it. People have definitely had mixed results, but eventually everyone's hair will even out :). Here's a website to get started: http://www.naturemoms.com/no-shampoo-alternative.html. It's called the No 'Poo movement.

Bonus Tip! A lot of people say they use vinegar to "condition" after they cleanse their hair. Don't do it! They can't smell themselves after a while, but others have said they smell like vinegar. All. The. Time. I brush my hair with a boar's bristle brush to smooth down the hairs. Smell-free and shiny!


Abby Annis/ asked me two questions, that wild woman!


If you weren't a writer, what would your ultimate career goal be?

Oooh, I daydreamed a little after I read your question and came up with my Dream Job! Believe it or not, I would own my own Tea Shop that also happened to sell books (of course!) One weird thing about me is even though I love Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica and chicks like Sarah Connor, I also happen to love tea, tea cups, teapots, and yummy tea sandwiches almost as much as life itself. My greatest pleasure in life is eating a salmon curry tea sandwich and drinking out of something like this. I know that makes me shamefully girly, but I just can't help myself.

Plus, then I could eat tiny quiches all the time, and no one could say anything, cause Hey! I'm the owner. Get back to work! Mmmmm... tiny quiiiiiche...

Do you use any product on your hair, like mousse, hairspray, or pomade? Does it wash out?

I totally used to, but since I've been going No 'Poo, I haven't bothered or needed to. I used to spritz my hair with sea salt spray to make it wavy, or do a little hairspray in the front, but yeah. I've been pretty much good to go without anything. I secrete nature's pomade now ;). Hehehe, just kidding (ew.) But my hair looks fine without, so I just wet it down or curl it, and I'm ready to roll!

That was fun, guys! I loved hearing your Fun Facts!!


If anyone wants to leave any more telling info or bizarre childhood stories in the comments, please feel free ;).

Fun Fact Friday!

Let's try something this weekend, just for fun, shall we? :)

My followers list has grown, and so I'd like to take the time for us to get to know each other with some fun facts!

From now until Monday, please leave ANY and ALL questions you can think of that you'd like me to answer! They can be about absolutely anything ;), so be creative!

But here's THE CATCH!

If you want to ask a question, you have to leave a Fun Fact about yourself, too!

Tell us what your childhood talent was! Tell us the weirdest thing you've ever named a pet! Tell us what your dream job would be if you had a billion dollars! Tell the truth. It's space cowboy, isn't it? I knew it!

To get things started, I'll tell you guys about this whole crazy No Shampoo thing I'm doing!

I do wash my hair, but for now I just do it every few days with baking soda and water. I have a plastic cup in my shower that I shake about a half inch of baking soda into, fill with warm water, and dump on my head. It works wonderfully and actually feels great! :) I just massage my roots down to my tips, and I'm done.

The first night, I made the horrible mistake of filling the cup up with water from the tap instead of from the nice hot shower, and yeah. Cold water + head = Bad Times. But hey, I learned quickly! ;)

After that, I brush my hair with some boars bristles and just let it be. It was nasty as hell for the first week, but now it feels awesome, and smells squeaky clean.

Eventually, I'll be able to get away with just water once my hair fully adjusts :).

Think about it. You know all those old pictures from the 1800s showing native american women with their awesome, shiny hair? What about all those flappers, too? Curls to die for! Well, shampoo was invented in 1930, so you do the math. If those ladies didn't need shampoo, neither do we!

It turns out shampoo is just like The Matrix. We've all been programmed to think that we need it, but it actually makes us need it by screwing up our hair. MADNESS!

So, please ask anything you'd like, and I'll be happy to answer. I'm both frightened and excited to see what you come up with ;).

I'm also very excited to hear your Fun Facts, so let's get this party started!

Happy Friday!

Step Into My Laboratory: Experimenting Is Good!

These past two weeks I've embarked on a terrifying experiment. No, I haven't been inventing anything or reanimating corpses.

I gave up shampoo!

You heard right, guys. I haven't shampooed or conditioned my hair in two weeks. To the left is what my hair looks like as of this evening.

Turns out the hippies were right! My husband did a sniff check, and my hair not only looks nice, but smells like shiny clean hair goodness.

This bizarre and unexpected success got me thinking. It's easy for me to experiment with real life things like new foods (I'll try anything once) or my hair, but I have a hard time experimenting with my writing.

Why is that? And am I alone?

For instance, I recently rewrote some scenes in my WIP, LEGACY OF THE EMPRESS, and it was some of the most difficult writing I've done. My husband kept telling me to just "let loose and see what happens," but a I found myself hesitating. I didn't want to let go of the words I'd written, my previous ideas, or even my inner editor, shouting "don't screw this up!"

Eventually, I cringed and just did it. These new scenes are now some of the coolest moments in my book. The experiment paid off!

Are there times when you struggle to let go when you're writing? What do you do to give yourself permission to experiment?

Do you find the results equal success? Are you too afraid of failure to even start?

On the hair front, it was a complete disaster the first week before it balanced itself out. Somehow it was both frizzy and oily at the same time. Not pretty, my friends! But, I stuck it out. Fear didn't stop me from seeing it through, and now I'm glad I did.

What about you?